OWAMBE SHENANIGANS: I Wasn’t Served Part-jollof, Even With My Aso-ebi.

I always thought people who claim they weren’t served food at weddings were lying until I experienced it myself. The general idea of buying aso-ebi for any nigerian wedding is so you get served at the event but the trick didn’t work this time. OH Lord! No-one deserves such heart break. You would think relationship heartbreaks are worst, try attending a party and you don’t get served. The couples getting married were not in any way my friends but friend’s friends, I was the #associationofmogbomobranchnigerialimited. My friend stood on my neck making sure I bought the aso-ebi because she needed someone to follow her. The aso-ebi was quite beautiful and affordable so why not plus I had been eyeing one of those Bella naija style inspiration on my phone and the fabric looked perfect for it. My tailor didn’t even dissapoint, my dress was ready a few days to the event. A week to event, my friend and I had paid my make up artist, bought new clutch and shoes, because according to her, it was all these rich people’s wedding so we can’t afford to look like servers at the event plus who knows we might find rich husbands too. My expensive designer perfume was going to finish close to that period so I had stopped using it just to save the rest for that event. My friend came to my house for a sleep over since my place was closer to the venue, we slept very early the night before so we don’t wake up with swollen eyes the next morning. We were already awake by 5am because the makeup artist had given us appointment for 9am claiming she also has an event she couldn’t be late for. We got to the Mua’s shop on time so we were just in time. Dammmnn!! Our makeup was on fleekkk, the bronzer on our faces would blind the devil, our gele was #operationstayofftheway.The aim was to meet them at the reception because I’m not a fan of church wedding service (I think I would scrap off on my wedding day). My friend’s car AC was on to keep our makeup intact. By the time we got to the reception, people were already coming from church too so we were just in time. We sat at the back at first, when they started sharing food, it wasn’t looking like food would get to us anytime soon, so my friend suggested we moved forward. After we left for the front sit, people at the front sit already took all the goodies on the table so we were left with nothing and worst part, the servers were serving according to rows due to the way the hall was arranged, so any row they serve and pass they don’t go back there, maybe until after other rolls had already been served (the party wasn’t one of those eat, belleful and take home naija parties), I don’t know why it was so or maybe the servers were hurding the food. Me I was getting hungry already, nothing was coming forth, my friend suggested we move to the back again, but I wasn’t ready to do that long walk, some people were looking at us already, because with the way we dressed, if you didn’t want to notice us, you would just have to, my perfume alone would slap sense into you. We just sat there hoping for some miracle, then a lady (who must have seen our hungry faces) gave us drinks and small chops and that was the only thing we ate at that wedding, we left afterwards. It something that should never happen to anyone, when hunger wanted to finish me, even my gele was starting to feel like thorns on my head. We were even too hungry to look for potential husband.
The bride apologized to my friend later, saying a lot of people complained of the same thing because the servers kept most of the portion of the food to themselves, but it’s something I would never forget.

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UPDATE ON MR BEAURFU

He called around 12pm this afternoon to ask if I had a free time since he was also free at work, so we could just hang out instead of tomorrow as initially planned, so I agreed. He came to pick me at home, on our way I asked where exactly we were going to and he said he needed to drop something for someone somewhere that it won’t take long, I was indifferent. On our way, a driver almost hit his car, and after raining several curses at the guy, he chased after him until he was out of sight, he was driving recklessly, that I was scared for my dear life, thank God for sit belt, his speed almost threw me and my small body out of the car (I experienced FAST AND FURIOUS!, I could feel my heart almost coming out of my mouth.) He asked if I was OK and I nodded, he now asked if I could cook and I said no, he yelled and said “HOW CAN YOU BE A WOMAN AND NOT KNOW TO COOK?, I was shocked at his yelling so I just kept quiet. In my mind I was telling myself “NGD, you have passed your boundary!” To make the matter worse, his car’s air freshener was horrible, coupled with the smell of weed every where, I almost choked to death🤦. The place was quite far, somewhere inside G. R. A. The house was in the middle of nowhere, When we got to a security check point, I was starting to feel uneasy like EH JESUS, HOPE THIS BOY HAS NOT COME TO USE ME FOR RITUAL LIKE THIS!! I quickly sent a whatsapp message to my friend to let her know what was happening in case of anything. He came out of the car and went inside the house, kept me waiting for almost an hour. As soon as I saw him enter the house, I bent under the car sit to see if there was CALABASH, but there wasn’t, I felt a bit relieved, but guess what I found??, a wrap of weed, I wasn’t even surprised because right from the first day I saw him, I could tell that he smokes.
So he came back about an hour later and asked me if I could chill for a few more hours, I told him no I have to go home now, he drove me back home. As I was about to come down from the car, he pulled me back(trying to form that Indian movie shiit with me), I pushed back and hurriedly jumped out before he would kuku rape me in the car.

Childhood Memories

The lyrics of this song was always in those lyrics books those igbo boys used to sell that year. I remember how I would stay awake in the night to learn the lyrics until I knew it well. If you could sing this song well that time in my school, especially the rap part, then you are the real MVP!. So many childhood memories attached to this song, and I once got beaten for it because my mum once caught me listening to it under the bed with someone’s mp3 abi that disc player, can’t remember which one and (taking other people’s things home from school is a crime in house. My mum beat me that night and dragged me by my ears to school the next day😭😭, very terrible experience.
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But where is Weirdmc now tho?
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What childhood memory earned you the beating of your life?

Long Distance Relationship.

I feel like being in a long distance relationship sometimes is no different from being single especially when your partner is like a million miles away in a completely different part of the world. Even some people who claim to be single are in some sort of relationship, maybe nothing serious but someone you can call when you feel the need for companionship, but for people whose partners are in faraway land, all you are stocked with is facebook, skype, whatsapp and the likes (thank God for those. at least ) and sometimes due to time interval, you have to make some sacrifices including your precious sleep. I think it’s even worse and emotionally stressful when you both have a heated argument and one partner isn’t talking to the other, you can’t concentrate on anything, or when you go out to chill alone and you are surrounded with couples kissing and loving up, then you think of calling your partner but to find out they are probably busy or sleeping so it’s just you, yourself and you.
Sometimes you would think you have it all figured out, especiailly when everything is going smoothly but maybe it’s OK not to either.

What are your views on long distance relationship?

How do you handle the days you feel the need for companionship?

Leave a comment below👇👇

How to Be Mindful Every Day of the Week

Sometimes opportunities to act with mindful intention fall into your lap: the politeness jam at the four-way intersection, when everyone wants to let the other guy go first; the earnest admission from someone who moves you to respond in kind. But, let’s face it, barring an emergency, mostly our days and weeks churn by without mindful awareness of any particular moment. The funny thing is, any ol’ Wednesday is packed with choice points to notice the present and to engage. Once you start doing it, you’ll be amazed by how many opportunities there are to connect, to appreciate, and to experience— everywhere, all the time. The best part? It’s super easy to do. Just a small, simple action can help you wake up and plug-in to the life pulsing all around you. Here are a few ideas to get started.

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LIFE LESSONS BOARDING SCHOOL TAUGHT ME.

I wasn’t one of the few lucky children that were born with silver spoon in their mouth but my parents always ensured their children got the best including going to rich people’s school. I was sent to a boarding school at a very tender age since I had sat and passed my common entrance in primary 4 so my parents felt their was no reason for them to delay me till primary 5 or 6. The first time I received my admission letter into JS 1, I was happy because I was going into secondary but sad because I was going to a boarding school, somewhere far from home.

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