I woke up this morning with so much thoughts in my head as to why nothing seems to be working out for me, putting so much efforts to certain things yet no result, having to let go of so much more for one particular thing that is even uncertain. I spent hours on these thoughts and so many things just kept going through my mind, this isn’t the life I wanted, I didn’t plan to just sit at home and do nothing after my service year, I had my life planned out before I left my PPA, how did I get here?, how did my life take this turn?, a whole lots of my mates are doing better than I’m. After hours of going back and forth on these thoughts, I just went down on knees and spoke to God about it, I poured out my heart in tears hoping that God would hear me and grant me all that I wanted right away, so while I was at it, something in me just said to me “at least you are alive and healthy, what about people who are sick or no where to be found atm, here you are crying because the plans you had for yourself is not working out, forgetting about the plans God has for your life” and that moment I asked myself what if all these things I want are not even part of God’s plan for my life or even if they are, what if it’s not time of those things to manifest as the Bible says “God makes all things beautiful in his own “. After this realization, I just told God to let his will be done in my life. This renewed the assurance in my heart about God’s love for me, his good plans for me, and that he would fulfill them all in his own time.
So to everyone like me feeling lost and tired, feeling hopeless, wishing they never had to let go of something they already had for uncertainties in the name wanting to be better, praying but not getting answers, feeling that God isn’t listening to them, to anyone feeling life is unfair, feeling bad that things are not particularly working in their favor, to anyone that is doing a particular thing differently and is still failing at it, to anyone that is confused as to whether to just give up or keep fighting, to anyone like me feeling useless, helpless and misunderstood, I just want you to know that God hasn’t abandoned you, his ears are not too small to hear you and neither are his arms to short to save you from whatever it is you are going through. We need to learn to be more thankful rather than overthinking things, yes I know it’s easier said than done.
It’s OK if things are not working out in your favor now but they would in end only if you don’t give up. God never neglects his own children and of course he would make all things beautiful in his own time, he has done it before and he would do it again, just keep trusting him.
I wrote this because I want to be able to come back this every time I feel this way. I hope someone is also able to do the same.
Would like to hear from you all, please do leave a comment.
Have a lovely weekend!
Love and light