DEALING WITH YOUR INSECURITIES

INSECURITY KILLS ALL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL…. DEMI LAVATO

Insecurity according to the dictionary means uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. We have all been insecure about something or even ourselves at some point in our lives. It’s very normal to that insecure every once in a while about something or your relationship but it’s not ok to let the feeling get the best of you because it generally hinders success. You can never achieve anything if you are too insecure about your flaws, what you do or even your relationship. Insecurity takes away your inner peace and most times robs you of your happiness. Insecurities steps in the moment you start feeling less of yourself.

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Call me J.J.C (Jolie Just Come)

Jjc is a name people call you when you are new to a certain environment.

Hi lovelies! Welcome to my blog, feels like ages since have been here but it’s only been a week or two. Well I had just recently moved to a new environment in search of greener pastures, don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of the popular say that “the grass is greener where you water it”, but I don’t think it’s a bad idea for you to move your grass from where it used to be (comfort zone) to a more fertile soil… Say yaayyy!! If you agree with me.

Moving into a completely different environment hasn’t been the easiest decision I have had to make so far, to think that it was something I was looking forward to and I was so excited about but it’s been a lot of struggle, going out, getting to know places and all of that.

I personally believe that moving to a new place comes with so much blessings especially the fact that it completely pushes out of your comfort zone, though it’s not always easy at the beginning, like I haven’t had the best of my stay here but m gradually adjusting to the way of life as it’s completely different from the life I was used to.

However there are a lot of struggle and stress that comes with it as well, so if you intend moving anytime, as you are filling your mind with all forms of good things that could come with it, you need to know that there would be some challenges you would come across before you get to the good part.

Here are a few challenges based on experience …..

1. You are constantly lost: I can’t even remember the number of times I have missed my road because of the fact that the roads have similar names and also look alike.

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MY TRAVEL BUCKET-LIST (30 PLACES I WANT TO VISIT BEFORE 30

20180626_095848_0001If wishes were horses, beggars would have one” they say or let me say that’s the general believe.  As a child, I think we have all had things we wanted to do, places we wanted to visit and so on in which some, we were able to achieve and some we weren’t.  But as I grew up, I started feeling like having bucket lists were completely cliché, I always thought this was just a me thing but until  I had met others who shared the same opinion like I did, trust me you are never alone with anything in this life.  So sometimes last year, just out of boredom (the things boredom can make you do!) and the urge to get out of my comfort zone, I started researching about different places in the world that I could visit with the little money I had in account, but unfortunately none!, I just kept on researching and fantasizing about these places and it was then I discovered that there are so many beautiful places in this world a lot of people like me didn’t know about. I remember I was then having a conversation with a group friend about this and that was when the issue of making a travel bucket list came up again. I told them how I felt about it but one of my friends insisted that I should give it a trial.

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GETTING RID OF PEOPLE PLEASING SYNDROME

20180620_124133_0001I’m currently obsessing over Fame by Adekunle Gold……

I was recently going through my instagram feed, then I came across this interview with Gabrielle Union by Jada Pinkette Smith where she talked about how much of a people pleaser she used to be, it just reminded me of my old self and how I was always trying to make everyone around me happy not minding if it costs me my own happiness. I always thought this would make me appear easy-going and likable. I was always trying to put a smile on everyone’s face, trying to be that perfect person they wanted me to be and I didn’t even realize I was losing myself while I was at it, saying no to people was a real big deal for me because I was scared of how they would feel. Not until the day I realized I’m not obligated to like anymore the same way no one is obligated to like me, you can’t force it, it’s something that is meant of happy naturally or over time.

 

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HOLDING ON TO GOD EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT#Weekendmotivation

I woke up this morning with so much thoughts in my head as to why nothing seems to be working out for me, putting so much efforts to certain things yet no result, having to let go of so much more for one particular thing that is even uncertain. I spent hours on these thoughts and so many things just kept going through my mind, this isn’t the life I wanted, I didn’t plan to just sit at home and do nothing after my service year, I had my life planned out before I left my PPA, how did I get here?, how did my life take this turn?, a whole lots of my mates are doing better than I’m. After hours of going back and forth on these thoughts, I just went down on knees and spoke to God about it, I poured out my heart in tears hoping that God would hear me and grant me all that I wanted right away, so while I was at it, something in me just said to me “at least you are alive and healthy, what about people who are sick or no where to be found atm, here you are crying because the plans you had for yourself is not working out, forgetting about the plans God has for your life” and that moment I asked myself what if all these things I want are not even part of God’s plan for my life or even if they are, what if it’s not time of those things to manifest as the Bible says “God makes all things beautiful in his own “. After this realization, I just told God to let his will be done in my life. This renewed the assurance in my heart about God’s love for me, his good plans for me, and that he would fulfill them all in his own time.

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HOW I OVERCAME DEPRESSION

Depression for me wasn’t just about the sad moods; it was more about the numbness, the state of oblivion, feeling the need to walk away from everything that mattered around me. “What if I could just go away and leave it all behind?” says my thoughts every single day, don’t get me wrong, this thought wasn’t suicidal; I just wanted to stay away from everything and everyone and just stop existing. This really wasn’t the first time I had experienced it, it’s very seasonal and I just get better, but this time was completely different as everything I cared about didn’t even matter anymore. I would smile and laugh on the outside but deep inside I was lost, I had a lot of people around me and still felt like I was alone. At first, I was going through my normal daily activities, trying to avoid people asking if something was wrong and gradually, I couldn’t anymore, I stopped working/taking jobs, talking to God became hard. I would just sleep all day, rather than sleep at night, all I would do was just cry and cry until I fell asleep. It was the same circle every day, I wasn’t talking to anyone and I wasn’t doing anything about it. I think it’s easy to see depression as a product of the bad things happening to you, but mine wasn’t, it has never been, it just always happens and I’m never able to figure out why. I was gradually withdrawing from people and things that made me happy, everyone especially my mum would always ask me if something was wrong and I was always so fast at saying “nothing”. This kept on happening and I could see it in my mum’s face that she was worried and confused on what to do, she tried her best but to no avail. I went through the same circle every day for weeks, then months (3), I was seriously losing weight and it was just getting worse. As the months were passing by, I was feeling the need to talk to someone but i couldn’t decide who because I was ashamed.

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